Parenting Beyond Your Capacity Part 2

Into the second week of PBYC.

This weeks talk was about the Stock Family Syndrome. And that God isn't holding up a perfect picture; He's writing a bigger story.

The chapter starts by asking the question, Is your family the picture you had in mind?

This chapter thens describes that we have tried for so long to set our family up against the picture of the stock family. Picture Perfect. There doesn't seem to be any flaws in the stock family. They seem perfect. And we begin to measure our success, our parenting, our marriage, our everything against this stock family.

The problem is that there is not a family that can measure up against that family. Every family is broken. Every family has problems. And so when we measure up against that, we are then discouraged because we can never be that.

We even try to look to the Bible to try to find that Picture Perfect family, but as you turn pages, and look through books, you will fail to find it. The Bible is riddled with families who are far from perfect and are broken.

"God is not trying to paint a picture of an ideal family....He's writing a story." (page 43)

"It seems like God is more interested in using broken people than He is in creating a better picture...it's as if God is saying, I'm going to use churches and families both composed of broken people, as platforms to demonstrate to the world that I am a God of restoration and redemption." (page 44)

The book challenges us to not focus on our picture, but on the bigger story God desires to illustrate through you.

When we become preoccupied with the Stock family, it is easy to fall into a trap where....

- you feel like you never measure up.

- you lose credibility with other parents who recognize the difference in what you are and what you claim to be.

- you discourage other parents with a standard they can never achieve. (page 46)

The book gives us two different approaches to family.

BETTER PICTURE APPROACH: we try to conform every family to our picture of what family should be.

BIGGER STORY APPROACH: we learn to see every family as a potential platform for God to demonstrate His story of redemption and restoration.

God is more interested in using YOU as a broken person, than YOU trying to be picture perfect. God is more interested in using YOU and all of your pieces to tell His story, than He is with you trying to tell your own story through your perfection.

God has be using families for centuries and throughout history to put His glory on display.

Questions for your to ponder on:

You might not feel like your family is ideal, but what does God feel about the imperfections of your family?

Based on the way God feels about your family, how will that impact the way you view and lead your family?

How might the way you see your family change if you started to have the perspective of God's bigger story, redeeming and restoring your family for His purpose?

Keep the conversation going...what do you think about this?

First Look - March

Hey Parents! I can't even believe that it is already March. I wanted to fill you in on what your children will be learning this month as we go through the month of March.

The Basic Truth: Jesus wants to be my friend forever.

Key Question: Who will help you?

Bottom Line: Jesus will help me

Memory Verse: "He cares for you." 1 Peter 5.7

Preschoolers will be learning through their senses this month! We will be learning how Jesus healed the blind man (sight), Jesus healing the lame man who couldn't walk (touch and ability to walk), and then Jesus healing the deaf man (hearing).

(we won't be meeting on March 13th, due to Spring Break. There will be one family service at 11:05 that day)

Make sure you pick up your Small Talk cards at your child's classroom or at the main welcome desk, or they will be located on www.calvarytuscaloosa.org/ministries/preschool. This tool will help you take the stories, that your child is learning, home. You will also find some great activities to do with your child to help them begin to live out what they are learning. And it just might help you too.

Thank you for partnering with us!

Parenting Beyond Your Capacity Part 1

Calvary has started what will be an incredible journey for families and the church. We have adopted the Orange Strategy. This strategy will change the way we do church and how you parent. We have also started a study for parents on Sunday nights walking through the book Parenting Beyond Your Capacity. Each week I will update what was talked about and hit some key points, so that those who could not be a part of the study, can still parent beyond your capacity.

The first chapter discusses the Orange strategy and gives a basic overview of the rest of the book.

"Many of us discovered soon after our children were born that our parenting toolboxes were missing some of the tools we needed to be effective at the job." (page 25)

NO ONE HAS MORE POTENTIAL TO INFLUENCE YOUR CHILD THAN YOU

"For good or bad, you will influence your children." (page 27)

"If parenting isn't a little intimidating, then maybe you don't really understand how critical your role is....We need to remember that our influence has more to do with our relationship with our children than it does our skills as parents. Your PURPOSE as a parent is not to develop exceptional parenting skills.....your role is not to impress your children or anyone else with your ability to parent; your role is to impress your children with the love and nature of God." (page 28-29)

YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY INFLUENCE YOUR CHILDREN NEED

"When you learn to parent beyond your capacity, you tap into other influences that also have the potential to impact your children's future." (page 30)

"Your children one day will seek affirmation and approval from adults other than you. Either you can become intentional about enlisting other trusted adults to influence your kids, or you can depend only on your limited capacity." (page 31)

TWO COMBINED INFLUENCES WILL MAKE A GREATER IMPACT THAN JUST TWO INFLUENCES

There are two powerful influences, the family and the church, and when these influences work together they can make a greater impact than if they worked alone.

"What if we assigned the color red to represent the unconditional love of family, and what if yellow represented the light that comes from a larger community of faith? When those two influences combine efforts to influence a child, the result is transformational." (page 32)

"They both exist because God initiated them.

They both exist because God desires to use them

to demonstrate His plan of redemption and

restoration.

If they work together they can potentially

make a greater impact than if they work alone.

They need each other.

Too much is at stake for either one to fail.

Their primary task is to build God's kingdom

in the hearts of men and women, sons and daughters." (page 33)

"Both the family and the church are systems comprised of imperfect people but designed by God to tell His story to the world." (page 33)

The color Orange is just a reminder of what it means to parent beyond your capacity.

As we walk through this study we will look at Five Essential Values of Orange.

Widen the Circle,

Imagine the End,

Fight for the Heart,

Create a Rhythm,

Make It Personal

Each one of these values will help parents parent beyond their capacity! Follow along with us as we strive to go Orange and make a greater impact than if we just try to do it alone.

First Look Bible Verses

One of the things that I love to see is preschoolers writing Scripture on their heart. Over the past two years, preschoolers have been learning ONE Bible verse each month. It an effort to help you, help your child learn these and write them on their heart (and hopefully yours too), I have gone back and given you the verses for the past several months.

I hope this is a great tool in the church partnering with you, as parents, to make an incredible spiritual impact on your child. I want you to IMAGINE THE END, because the only that will matter in the end, is your child's and your relationship with Christ.

Do what you can now to develop biblical truths and Scripture in your child, so that they will have a foundation that can't be moved.

Thanks for partnering with us, we are always looking for ways to partner with you. THINK ORANGE!

May 2010: "I am wonderfully made." - Psalm 139.14

June 2010: "Be kind and loving to each other." - Ephesians 4.32

July 2010: "Learn to do what is right." - Isaiah 1.17

August 2010: "God is with you wherever you go." - Joshua 1.9

September 2010: "Nothing can seperate us from God's love." -Romans 8.39

October 2010: "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid." - Deuteronomy 31.6

November 2010: "My God will meet all your needs." - Philippians 4.19

December 2010: "God loved the world so much that He gave His only son." - John 3.16

January 2011: "Let the little children come to me." - Luke 18.16

Sneak Peak

February 2011: "Love each other as I have loved you." - John 15.12

I look forward to learning more and more verses with you and your child!